Feeling Better or Bitter?

“Gloom, despair and agony on me; Deep dark depression, excessive misery; If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all; Gloom, despair and agony on me!” HeeHaw! I haven’t been much good for anything the past month with illness keeping me sitting on the porch feeling sorry for myself. The high-powered medicine I had taken to cure one disability opened the door for another type of bacteria to attack my body, which sent me into a tailspin for another week. It’s terrible to not have the energy to get out of bed when a person like me is used to running nearly eighteen hours a day. Today I’m very much on the road to recovery and hope to be up to full speed by the beginning of the new work week. Oh, by the way, as if I don’t have enough on my plate already, I had my regular vocal cord check-up the other day and it looks like more surgery. The right cord is showing some potential bad cell growth again and to stay on top of things another biopsy and surface cleaning is needed. The voice I keep trying to preserve is slowly being whittled away, but then again I always did talk too much, generally saying the wrong things at the right time. November 2nd is the date.
You know you are getting “Marvelously Mature” when… You try to straighten a wrinkle in your sock only to discover you’re not wearing socks; At breakfast you snap, crackle and pop but you’re not eating cereal; It takes two tries to get up from the couch; When you’re memory is shorter and you’re complaining lasts longer; It takes twice as long to look half as good; People think you have more patience, but it’s actually that you just don’t care anymore; You find you finally gotten your head together and your body starts falling apart; You wonder how you can be over the hill when you can’t remember be on top of it; You wake up looking like your driver’s license; and, All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of how old you are.
Illness and disabilities which limit the movement of a person, as I’ve rediscovered lately, has a humbling effect on the soul, and/or a rattling effect on the mind. Case in point, the recent rescue of the miners in Chile. The youngest miner at age 18 was very disturbed and at times unruly while trapped underground. I can’t imagine the mind bending thoughts that ran through those men, but cooler heads prevailed and all but one survived. On the other end, the oldest miner, I don’t recall his age, stepped out of the rescue “cage”, and fell to his knees in a prayer of thanksgiving to God. Just an observation I made and the thought that the trials of life are humbling to the soul.
[Hebrews 3: 7-19] An old and wise preacher used to say, “Trials will do one of two things in your life: they will either make you better or they will make you bitter!” Two men, famous in English literature, were both lame. Lord Byron was embittered by his handicap. He brooded on it and allowed it to drive him to anger against God and rebellion against society. Sir Walter Scott, on the other hand, never complained or spoke a bitter word about his disability. His writings are touched with optimism and a largeness of soul which were a reflection of the man. In the circumstances, it is not surprising that Byron had written a letter to Scott in which he said, “I would give my fame to have your happiness”. During my short illness Satan has injected doubt and bitterness and a little “why me?” challenging my faith and beliefs. Life is fragile unto death and the spirit is forever. Where do I want to spend eternity? With my creator.