Give Simple Directions

It is said that one can become a naturalized Texan. I don’t know exactly how this is done as I’ve never seen anything in writing, but from what I’ve been told, not having been privileged to be Texas born, if one is accepted by the natives and one has spent more years in Texas than anywhere else, one becomes eligible to declare Texan status. This of course is not accepted by all Texans, but seems to be tolerated. Now the first lesson I learned is that the size of Texas is not in any way divulged through its road maps. I grew up with one inch equals ten miles. On a Texas road map one quarter inch equals twenty-five miles, and that’s a big map. My brother, a naturalized Californian, says Texas is the only place in the world where people don’t think twice about traveling thirty miles, one way, just to go to lunch. Verbal directions for getting around are near impossible to follow. “Just down the road a ways” could mean two counties over. And “the fourth gate on the right” may not include the two new ones added over the past year. “It’s the road right where the old school house used to be” never helped me a bit. I’m just happy to be accepted as a Texan and will continue to be as long as I don’t mention that other place too often. (You know, that state where I was born.)
Following a speech, the preacher said to the young reporter covering the event, “When you do your write-up, please don’t mention the anecdotes I used. I may want to use them in other speeches.” The newsman obliged by inserting this line: “The minister told several stories which cannot be repeated here.”
A young preacher came upon a farmer working in his field. Being a zealous soul winner, he inquired about the farmers soul. “Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?” asked the preacher. “Naw, these is soybeans”, the farmer replied. “You don’t seem to understand”, said the preacher. “Are you a Christian?” “Nope. My name is Jones. You must be lookin’ for Jim Christian. He lives about a mile south of here.” The preacher tried again. “Are you lost?” “Naw! I’ve been livin’ here all my life.” “Are you prepared for the resurrection?” The farmer asked, “When’s it gonna be?” The preacher replied, “It could be today, tomorrow or the next day.” “Well”, said the farmer, “Don’t mention it to my wife. She’ll want to go all three days!”
[1 John 2: 18 – 3: 3] I have yet to meet anyone, who believes in heaven and hell, to tell me they wanted to go to hell after their death. Many have told me they fear they are going to hell when they die and don’t think there’s any way out of it. That’s the point at which a good Christian will begin to witness as to their faith in the saving grace of the living God. Do I start preaching out of the Bible? I think not. The best way I found to convince others that they too can be accepted by God as an adopted child, eligible for all the inheritances promised of God, is to tell them of how the power of God changed my life. I tell them that since I’ve been living according to the teachings of the apostles in God’s word, life has never been so good. I tell them how secure I feel, knowing that my sins have been forgiven and forgotten. Then I begin to explain how simple God’s plan of salvation is. Believe that Jesus is the Son of God. Know of His death, burial and resurrection. Be baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Sprit for the remission of sins. Born again to live according to God’s word and looking forward to Jesus’ return.