The following excerpts
are actual answers given on tests and in Sunday School quizzes by children of
the 5th and 6th grades in Ohio. They were collected by
two teachers over a period of three years. * Ancient Egypt was old. It was
inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the
Sahara Dessert. The climate of the Sahara is such that all the inhabitants have
to live elsewhere. * Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made
unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on
Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada,
but the commandos made it. * Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred
porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the Bible.
It sounds like he was sort of busy too. * The Greeks are a highly sculptured people,
and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is
a young female moth. * Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around
giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of
wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death his career suffered a
dramatic decline. * Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of
Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because hey thought he was going to be
made king. Dying, he gasped out, “Same to you, Brutus.” Joan of Arc was burned
at the steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I really don’t
understand. The English and French still have problems. * It was an age of
great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the
Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. * Sir Frances
Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper which was very dangerous to
all his men. * Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a
large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he
kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 until the present. Bach was the most
famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half
Italian, and half English. He was very large. * Beethoven wrote music even though
he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock
and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him.
Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
[Galatians 6:2]
When I was a young boy, I remember the death of a funeral director in our city.
To a young mind this seemed strange, almost impossible. He was the one who was
supposed to be there when other people died. He wasn’t supposed to die himself.
And now his family needed the services of an undertaker. “What will they do?
How do they know what to do? Can it be done?” were questions that ran through
my mind. Have you ever wondered who cuts your barber’s or hair stylist’s hair?
To whom does your doctor go when illness strikes? Who puts the filings in your
dentist’s teeth (in case they fail to follow the instructions given to you)?
When a tow truck breaks down can the driver call for a tow? Yes, those who
usually serve, at times, need to be served. This is just as true in the church
as it is in the world. Remember that Paul admonished us to, “Bear one another’s
burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” What about the person you usually
rely on for support? Do you try to observe moments when you can serve him or
her? There are times they need you – don’t you know. All of us, including
elders, deacons, preachers, and their families, plus everyone in your life need
someone to talk with, cry with, laugh with – somebody who has no particular
agenda than simply to care for and be concerned for others. Are your eyes open
to the needs of others or just fixed on your own needs?
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